User blog:I Am A Superstar!! : )/Frustrated About Life Lately 4-7-19
Hey there! I just have been feeling frustrated in life lately. Wanted to get my feelings out and explain why. 1.) This may seem a little minor, but it gets frustrating. John is so addicted to his cell phone. Particularly Facebook. He looks at it probably way longer than the average person. I used to be JUST like this as well. I for one, got into a lot of arguments online, on Facebook, made fun of, laughed at, talked down to, I just got tired of it. In September 2018 I was strong enough (I REALLY think it takes a lot to delete such a demanding app away from your life) and removed the app completely from my phone and haven't put it back on. I may peek on my computer at home, but it was too time consuming. Johnny is on these groups with people who own the same car as him and stuff. I understand, but he just can't let it go. Everything he does to his car, immediate picture and post to Facebook. Also he sometimes gets into arguments as well. My life feels better without Facebook beeping at me every second of every day. I wish he could give it up too. 2.) I am very stressed and upset/depressed about this recent news about Martin Tower being demolished. I love him and have tried to save him for 6 years already! Since 2013. I am heartbroken, and I have my good days and my bad days. I don't even want to see it happen, or pictures or video. This will result in me taking off instagram, Twitter and Facebook Pages apps off my phone. I don't know how long this will last. I don't even want to drive past the site where he was and see him gone. 3.) I am trying to imagine my life and being happy with just me and John, without Martin around. My dream is to live with John, marry him and have kids with him. But we still don't know where we are going to live and it is stressing me out. I do still live in my childhood home, since I inherited it since my mom and dad died. It's a very nice size home. However, it does need work done, and belongings I do not need that belonged to my family need to be taken out. Then the house needs a heavy cleaning and some remodeling. He's also mentioned maybe moving somewhere else. I'd love to move far away from this area (Lehigh Valley) and move to the mountains where the lake cabin is (The Poconos). I used to hate going up there, but being up there is quiet, peaceful, I don't know anyone there, and it'd be a fresh start and seeing it reminds me of him. I don't know what to do. i just want to know where we will live and raise our kids and grow old and die. 4.) As long as John works where he does, (Lehigh Heavy Forge) (a job with a lot of hours, and good money and benefits) he will NOT move far from his job in Bethlehem (where Martin is.) I feel I am stuck living here in the Lehigh Valley when I want to get a fresh start, no Martin, just focus on John and our future, not have to worry about running into people I know around here. But I *can't* move! I am STUCK here because he won't move far. Which I can't blame him. And my childhood home in Allentown is paid for (NO mortgage) and taxes are very low compared to a lot of homes. It's really better and would likely be cheaper to stay in my childhood home, fix it up. But I will have to deal with Martin being gone, living near where he was, and just living near where I grew up and seeing people I know around here, which I usually hate. John is the one who wanted me to love the Mountains and lake and Poconos so much, when we met he said he'd love to live there. I didn't. Now I changed my mind and we can't. I am stuck. 5.) Getting John to move in with me in my house is such a challenge. His parents are in their early 60s, not in the greatest of health. I am sure it could be worse. But his mom and dad just want him to do EVERYTHING. I didn't appreciate his mom's comment today, "You and Stefanie aren't capable of taking care of a house, you should get a condo where everything is done for you." What a rude assumption. She doesn't even want to let us try. 7.) I miss the feeling of being happy on Wikia. I mean, I still really enjoy it, but it isn't the same. No one comments on anyones things or adds pages or content hardly ever anymore. Where did everyone's ambition go? At least on here I don't get bullied, I can say how I feel somewhat anonymously. I still enjoy this site more than *anywhere* else. There's nowhere like it anymore. 8.) I am just tired of being...*tired* all of the time. I work early and don't go to bed early, I know is part of it. But I could sleep for 8, 10, 12 hours and still want to sleep all day. I never feel refreshed. It's scary. I don't know what is wrong with me. God forbid I don't nap one day during the week, my voice gets completely shot. Raspy and can hardly talk. Like what the hell? 'In conclusion' I just feel life would get better for me if John and I's life could start. I am already stressed out with Martin leaving the Earth, it'd be great if he could lay off the phone and Facebook. If I knew where we are going to live, clean up my/our house at least. I just want to feel like something is actually happening. Every day is the same and it's sad, mundane and boring. I love him so much and our life needs to start somehow. Thanks for reading. ♥ #iamasuperstar (talk) 04:00, April 8, 2019 (UTC) Category:Blog posts Category:Stefanie's Pages Category:Updates Category:John Category:Martin Category:2019